So maybe this won’t be a long post about something as profound as my last posts but this blog has really helped me to clear my mind.
So let’s dive into this weird, half emerging, half sheltered, half confused, half understanding stage of life some of us are in right now. Not a fully fledge adult but some mini adult walking around in circles sometimes it seems like. From trying to understand insurance, writing checks, paying bills and figuring that coupons are your new best friend it seems like nothing could really have fully prepared you for it. High school was very off in guiding in the important life preparation in my opinion. Our parents may have prepared us for some things, gave us some instruction but it didn’t really show us how it would feel. The emotions that may run through your whole body in the moments of financial aid concerns and scares. The fear of realizing that in some moments that you are really by yourself. Even some of the simple things I took for granted as a kid I really am starting to understand them now as I get older. I am still in transitioning. I am taking the necessary baby steps and some of the larger leaps.
I recently just got my first apartment. It’s a student apartment so its not as expensive as having like a real apartment but its a step. In some senses its very scary. I love my family deeply, especially my mom. Growing up it was just my mom, my sister and I and then when my sister went to college it was just my mom and I. I really have learned a lot from that strong lady and a huge part of me is scared to taking a step that is gonna make more adult and less kid. In my head I have the days that I really want to relive or I guess reinvent from my childhood. My mom was always working. So we didn’t really get that much time together. It wasn’t until I started getting older that I was able to bond with her in a stronger way. It’s even scary thinking that I’ll be in a different state from her. I am really going to miss her. I missed her my first year of college and she was just two hours away. The inner child of me really is trying to enjoy the moments I have with her. I wish I could pause time during this summer.
Enough of the complaining though, it is exciting to have a place of my own! Especially after living in a dorm and sharing a room( a post to come later about those experiences) it is nice to know that I will be able to have a space to relax in and not having to worry about someone else. I got my bed set and stuff for my shower. Currently just working on coordinating with the other girls in the apartment on what to buy for cookware and cleaning supplies. Although I don’t live in a big city, I vision myself living like I am on the tv show of Gossip Girl roaming through the streets of the Upper East Side or something of the kind. Walking around( literally everywhere) and just living and exploring all the new things around me. So maybe this transition in my life isn’t so bad.
until my next cup of coffee,
a mini adult