How many of us have been invited in a party where you feel reserved about going? What were some of the reasons you felt this way? Was it because you didn’t know what to expect, you didn’t really know the people there or was it because you really didn’t want to go? Where if you did end up going the timeline of your social media is so interesting and you have never before found such comfort in standing beside a wall or sitting on a couch? Please nod your head via the internet if you have ever done the causally glance around and question yourself to no end if you should go around introducing yourself. Now in society they would label all of this as being an introvert and unsociable. However I don’t really feel like that’s what it is. Now I am biased because I share some of these feelings. But here me out on this one.
Maybe I am alone on this but often times I put myself on the other side of the coin. How does the host of this party feel. Especially when it comes to things like birthday parties would I really want some random person I don’t know being in my house? I really want to be respectful of them. I feel like that is where some of my reservedness comes from. It’s not that I’m unsociable or quiet because if you knew me I can actually talk and joke a lot. I love people and having conversations. However I am not an extreme extrovert. I like to identify myself as somewhere in the middle. Or as the quiz I took before I wrote this placed me as a “Mild Extrovert”. Parties where I am the one who is more of the guest rather than the host my inner four year old shyness comes out and wants to hid behind my parent’s leg waiting for someone to introduce me.
Recently I found myself in a more adult version of this situation, unlike my college party situations. It made me realize that maybe I am not the type of person to go and just start talking to everybody and anybody but maybe I should start trying. I really am reflecting heavily on why my nervousness and shyness comes out in these settings. Even in college I hated being the person to have to go knock on the door out of my group of friends of a party that nobody even personally knew the person hosting it. I had become an expert at pulling out my phone and playing with every minuscule app and setting on there until the hype music came on and more of the friends I knew were there. I am not sure if in one blog post and a night I can change my shyness but at least I am aware. I feel as though that when you are aware of your traits you can try to change the outcomes of the situations. So who knows maybe the next party I go to I’ll level up and be a normal extrovert.
Until my next cup of coffee,
a shy partier